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WORDS OF WISDOM

Great Questions to Ponder


How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did MRS. HOWELL on Gilligan's Island have so many clothes?
 
Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it's made out of BEEF?
 
Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?
 
What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?
 
IF "Con" is the Opposite of "Pro"....then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?  (think about this one and don't miss it!!!)
 
Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients....but DISHWASHING LIQUID contains real lemons.
 
How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn't grow in it?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
 
Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to "CURE" it.
 
Why do we wash BATH TOWELS, aren't we clean when we use them?
 
Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
 
Why doesn't GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle.
 
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
 
Whose cruel idea was it for the word  "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
 
What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?
 
Why do cars burn up, and houses burn down?

If it is illegal to drink and drive, why do we have parking lots at bars?

You can tune-a-piano, but you can't tune-a-fish.

If a dwarf convict escapes from prison, is he considered ‘at large’?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?

If the police arrest a mime artist, do they tell her that she has the right to remain silent?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

Is it possible to be totally partial? Is it possible to be totally impartial?

What is another word for thesaurus?

When ship companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If it is tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why is there an expiraton date on sour cream?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Do they have reserved parking for non handicap people at the special Olympics?

Why do they call it a TV set when you get only one?

If you shoot a mime do you use a silencer?

When they messed up the design of the drawing board what did they go back to?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

What is the speed of dark?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

What is a ‘free’ gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

What is another word for synonym?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is this a hostage situation?

When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?

Where do forest rangers go to ‘get away from it all’?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavoured cat food?

How can there be SELF help GROUPS?

Why are cigarettes sold in petrol/gasoline stations when it is prohibited to smoke there?

Why is it when you transport something by car, it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it is called cargo?

If you eat pasta and antipasta are you still hungry?

If you try to fail and succeed which have you done?

If the black box is never damaged in a plane crash, why isn't the entire plane made out of the same stuff?

If most car accidents occur within 5 miles of the home why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?

If you grab hold of the wagging tail of a dog, why doesn't the dog wag?

Why do we drive on Parkways and park on driveways?

Have you ever noticed in large cities how the "expressway" can be the slowest route to take?

If a minister is a "man of the cloth," does that mean that the rest of us are nude?

Some people can play the piano, or guitar, or trumpet. But how does one play the radio?

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